A LETTER TO BULLIES

Wednesday, May 25, 2016


Dear Bullies, 

First, if you don't understand what bullies mean, it's you who use your strength, your power, your speaking skill, your internet, bother yourself to spend your time only to harm, to threat, to intimidate, to force, to abuse us - people who you think that are weak, helpless, useless, meaningless. 

Now you know. 

It's a horrible definition, isn't it? None of the words above have positive meaning, so does what you have done. 

We never understand why you say those horrible words, never understand why you physically harm us, why you bother yourself to send us awful things on social media just to prove that you are powerful, that you feel super than anyone else in this world. 

At first, we want to let it go. Pretend that you don't exist. Pretend that what you say and what you do are not matter. But it feels harder and harder every single day because we have to face you and your shameful words and acts.

We have to endure our pain. Those big hole in our chest is getting deeper at night when we remember what you said earlier this day. We can't sleep. We're crying instead. 

The next day, we see you and you start to say something terrifying and we start to lose ourselves. We start to think, 'am I what he/she said?', 'am I that meaningless until people easily to mock at me?', 'am I that horrible until people called me bitch, slut, whore?'. 

We see you and you start physically harming us and it makes us want to harm ourselves too because we feel meaningless. You and your friend seem have right to treat us like a trash so why don't we? 

We see your hateful messages, comments, and even our pictures edited into something ugly and nasty. We stop using social media because we're afraid to look at those messages and comments, we stop taking our selfies although it is something we like but because of your negative and rude comments, we're afraid to post selfies, even to take it. In the end, we delete all of our social media although those are our entertainment. 

Day by day... We have to pretend that we are okay, all smiley, in front of our parents and teachers. We start to stay away from our friends because we're not feeling worth enough to have them. We feel so bad for ourselves.

We stop doing whatever we like because it doesn't feel the same anymore. We lost our appetite. We don't see the point of our lives anymore because we're just your punching bag, your trash can. 

You forget that we are humans too. 

We cry every night. Sleep is no longer our need but our way to escape reality. 

Being verbally, physically, socially and even cyber abuse are not something we asked for. We never signed to let people like you to harm us on daily basis. We never signed to be someone else' punching bag. 

And you know what? We never signed to have health complaints because we're not sleep, not eat enough. Never asked for anxiety every now and then, never asked for depression. Or even worse, some of us give up and commit suicide. 

We never understand why you, a person with brain and feelings, with family and friends, with life to live for, wasting your time to do something horrible? Why you want to be a reason of suicide? 

Days... Weeks... Months... Years... 

One morning, we look at the mirror and try to smile. We don't remember when was the last time we smiled. 

It feels good to smile again, seeing our lips curved, our eyes shine, having this amazing feeling inside after all awful and terrifying thoughts we have. 

We come to conclusion: we are strong enough to stand up for ourselves. We ask for helps and it feels good to have someone to stand up for you. It takes time to get better, after drowning for such a long time, breathing air feels like something from Heaven. 

We get treatment for our anxiety and depression. It takes time of course, but it will get better. It is getting better. 

We start to eat well, have enough sleep, we start reading our favourite book, dancing on our favourite song, laughing so hard even at something small and stupid. 

We are getting better. The pain still here, in our chests, it takes time but it fades aways slowly. It is fading away. 

Waking up is not as hard as before. It takes time, but it is worth. Sleep is no longer our runaway. We have beautiful dreams. We sleep better. 

Looking at you is not as frightening as before. You still say those words that you shouldn't say, still physically harming us, still cyber harming us but what now? You just you - negativeness that we don't need in our lives. 

Then we learn something from our pain.  

You do something horrible, unforgiven, because of your insecurities. You envy because you know we can survive. You scared because we can through the darkest storm. Let's think about this, if the table is turned, what will you do? Will you survive like we do? 

Please keep in mind, you are human and you supposed to do something acceptable as human does. Remember that others are humans too. Others have feelings too. 
________________________________________________________________________________

a little note to all of my beautiful fighter friends... 

asking for help is not a sign for weakness, it is a prove that you're strong and trying to stand up for yourself. you are strong, independent and you can get through whatever life throws at you. fight those bullies with kindness, fight your mental illnesses for your own good. don't ever let anyone tell you what to do, this is your life, your world. you're the one who make the rules. you own it. remember, you have a long way to live, beautiful life you're dreaming of. always follow your dreams because they make us more alive. YOUR SKY, YOUR LIMIT.

i'm here for you. we're all in this together. 




love,

vera 

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